A vanilla sponge, a layer of jam, community spirit and some sprinkles might be all it takes to combat loneliness in older members of society.
The proof is in the pudding with a group of over 75s who meet for a tea party in Wimbledon once a month to enjoy home-baked goods and warm conversations.
Set up by national charity Re-engage, the events are hosted by volunteers who provide their homes and the refreshments for older guests and their drivers.
88-year-old Jean Taylor, who was described as the group’s resident cockney, said: “If I wasn’t coming then I wouldn’t have anything to look forward to.
“It’s nice to meet other people and have a chat because if you live on your own it’s quite lonely.”
Taylor has lived on her own in Mitcham for the last 27 years since her husband died, and decided to join the group after seeing a leaflet in her local church.
She has been attending the monthly gathering since before the pandemic and said that it’s helped change her feelings about Sundays – which incidentally, she never really liked.
She added: “It feels very special because the host wants you to enjoy being here.
“It’s company for me and I like mixing with people.”
April’s tea party was hosted by Claire Smith who has been throwing these parties with her family for almost 10 years.
Claire and her husband Anthony treat the gatherings as family events and encourage their three children, Zac, 13, Alice, 11 and Toby, 6 to help bake, prepare and entertain their guests.
Mrs Smith believes in the importance of her children meeting people from different backgrounds and feels the tea parties help them to understand the act of giving.
Oldest Zac said his favourite thing about hosting is the sense of community that it brings to their household.
Mrs Smith added: “If you’ve got the capacity to do something like this, you should do it.”
Re-engage was set up in 1965 after Trevor Lyttleton met an older woman in his neighbourhood who was alone and without electricity, so decided to do something to give back to the older community.
The charity now has 50 tea parties across London, with 10 specifically in South West London and many more across the country.
This particular meet up started around 20 years ago by Suzie Duncan and others who got in touch with Contact the Elderly, as it was formerly known, to set up a tea party in the area – something which was always a tradition in her family.
Duncan took over as Area Coordinator pre-pandemic and has been sharing the responsibilities with her husband Simon ever since.
The Wimbledon group is mainly made up of people in their 80s but their oldest guest is 98. Each month they gather around a higgledy-piggledy table for tea and perhaps get to leave with a goodie bag filled with sausage rolls.
This meet up has guests from Germany, Italy, South Africa, Trinidad and Bangladesh.
Duncan spoke of the fascinating stories they’ve heard and shared about guests’ lives, being children during the war and various experiences from all over the world.
She said: “It’s a united friendship group – across drivers, guests, hosts and organisers.
“I think it’s fantastic for the guests and the feedback we get is on how much they enjoy coming out as well as the tea itself.
“I would absolutely ten out of ten recommend others to get involved. The more people who wanted to join the groups, the more we could get set up.”
Each volunteer host puts on a tea party around once or twice a year and volunteer drivers tend to drive guests between 8-10 times a year.
Duncan said that the guests particularly like that they don’t have to worry about transport – they are picked up, brought to the tea and taken home again afterwards.
Volunteer driver of two years, Melissa Younger said: “I think I get as much out of it as the people we bring.”
Anyone aged 18 or over can volunteer with Re-engage – whether that be to host tea parties, to be a volunteer driver, or to get involved with their other services.
Re-engage also offer call companions for over 75s to have the chance to talk to someone over the phone every week or two. Their rainbow call companions offer the same service but are for older people in the LGBT+ community.
The charity has 62 call companion volunteers and 132 in-person volunteers across London.
18% of all adults 75+ have reported feeling lonely some of the time/often or always feel lonely, according to the NHS England Health Survey for England 2024.
Women (20%) were more likely than men (15%) to report this in people aged 75+.
28-year-old Atiyah DaCosta has been working for Reengage for two years as an Engagement Officer who helps to set up these groups and find volunteers.
She said: “The amount of people over 75 that go without speaking to anyone in a day is a lot. Both women and men go through the same thing and it’s important that these people aren’t forgotten.”
However, Duncan reiterated that you do not have to feel lonely to attend the group – maybe you just have some spare time to fill. Either way it’s a chance for people to laugh, to connect and maybe help yourself to a slice of cake whilst you do.
For more information on the tea parties or the other opportunities that Reengage offer, visit https://reengage.org.uk
All images by Finley Adams
Join the discussion